"When God didn't answer their prayers, they mourned saying, 'surely God has abandoned us'".
I have had this phrase stuck in my head for the past two weeks. It's relative to what I'm feeling. Everything seems to be falling apart, and though I seek God out and ask for mercy or wisdom, no answer comes. I used to find God in solitude. I would sit outside in the cool breeze alone, and I could almost hear His voice directing me. Comforting me. But lately when I seek him out, I hear nothing. I just end up being stuck with my own troublesome thoughts. And maybe that's the problem- I need to clear my mind before seeking God out.
With everything going on, I'm confused as to whether I heard God right when He told me to pursue nursing. Unbidden thoughts come into my head saying He was just playing with my mind. Or that he pulled me halfway through and then, after all the mistakes I've made, just kind of gave up on me. I know in my head this isn't true. He's pulled me through so many times in my life, and that's what I have to look back to to reassure myself He's going to save me from myself again. But satan plants the seeds of doubt, and sometimes I let those seeds grow a little further than I should.
"When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the LORD your God and obey him. For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you...." Deuteronomy 4:30-31
